A Quickening

For the Future, For the Now

I no longer feel a little guilty about having a wedding board on pinterest. 

Audrey Hepburn & Love

Audrey Hepburn once said, “If I get married, I want to be very married.”

I heard that a few years ago and thought, “Me too.” But my affirmation of her thought really meant nothing because a marriage proposal wasn’t anything I thought would happen in the near future, if in the future at all. My thought was two-fold: what if God just isn’t planning on that (and instead I will save the world) and what if I, simply put, just never choose a man?

I never truly thought that God had no intentions of my marrying (although, I will admit that once during the May of my sophomore year I took a rather emotional stand while sitting in a Franklin park that I would be single forever because that was so obviously better than men). But the fear that I would never want to be still was both legitimate and frightening because I’m a bit flighty, far too restless, and daydream like it’s my job. I know many wonderful men with whom I have had excellent times and talks, but for some reason, I always preferred to be my solo vagabond self at the end of the day. But, if I were to be married, I wanted to be very married.

Then came Josh. 

All of a sudden, I was fascinated by someone. Intrigued, I spent hours asking him questions in trees, on railroad tracks, under bridges, and in Panera Bread. I wanted to know his opinions on everything, absolutely every situation he had ever been in, and every dream he dared to chase. I wanted to know Josh, and I wanted him to know me. So we took off on adventures and explored the surrounding lands, and at the end of the day, I wanted another adventure. 

It wasn’t too long before I realized that I was always in want of another adventure, always in hope of the chance to run away for a few hours with him. To be married to Josh doesn’t mean to be still and lifeless and chained, but to better glorify God and to have my partner in crime always - and what is more wonderful than that?

There was no “Will you marry me?” on Friday when Josh proposed. Rather, he asked, “Will you run away with me?” And what better way for a vagabond to start than with a question like that?

Last final taken. Undergraduate degree complete. Boyfriend outside in the sunshine. Good.

Thoughts of a Barista

I work in a coffee shop, the only one in a small town, so I’ve had the chance to really get to know the real Grovers. The ones who live in Grove City, always. I know their favorite coffees, flavors, teas; what their grandkids ate for lunch, how their sons did in the game, and how morning Zumba went; and I know their smiles, frowns, and weary looks.

And I love it.

There’s Keith, who insists on coming in before we’re open and ordering a drink that requires extra work on my part. But, I don’t blame him because a dirty chai is my favorite drink, too. I recently convinced him soy milk tastes better while he told me about his totaled truck and multiple camping trips just so he can read in peace. (Respect.)

Then Neil, the main judge for the area. He always gives me the parts of the paper he doesn’t like, and I think he finds great pleasure in answering my questions before I can get them out. He likes his tea and his honey —- but, tea is his winter/spring thing and he’s transitioning back to coffee currently. Last week he told me about the punishments of even the small delinquent trespassing, because he feared being woken up due to my arrest.

In comes Sunshine, with the meanest and snarkiest of all dispositions. I call him Sunshine in hopes of getting him to be pleasant, but, he enjoys being bossy and sipping his Earl Gray tea while complaining about his wife. I think he’d actually die without her. 

Oh, don’t forget Ted, who created the “tedwich” which is an extra-burnt cinnamon raisin bagel with three cheeses, ham, egg, and mayonnaise. He is quite concerned with our tip jar and ensuring that we are not stolen from. I love him for it.

Sally works at the bank down the street and I find her to be hilarious. We often talk about playing hookie and what we would do if we did. Her morbid jokes bring me a smile but I pretend to be horrified every time she answers my, “How are you today?” with a “Well, I didn’t see my name in the obituaries, so I guess fine.” If we have something in the pastry case made with pumpkin, it’s hers. Along with her glass of milk and coffee — but she only wants the coffee as she heads out to take on the world.

I haven’t quite figured out the Blueberry Man with the crazy last name. Large blueberry latte. Lemon blueberry scone. In my mental dialogue that runs during every customer interaction, I tell him he will turn blue. And he responds, “Oh, I hope so.”

But my favorite, undoubtedly, is Bob. He’s an old guy, kind of comes off as stand-offish and disinterested. Yet, somehow we’ve created a relationship full of lively banter. He orders the same thing every day. Travel mug full of regular coffee. Sesame bagel. Egg. Swiss. Sausage. Bacon. I like him, so I give him extra bacon. Our first interaction is my favorite one of all. He caught me telling my roommate, “I hate making breakfast sandwiches.” during my first week of work. I noticed him standing there, asked how I could help him, and with a smirk so similar to one of my own, he answered, “I’d like a breakfast sandwich, please.”

So while I’m graduating from the college in this town next week, I’m not graduating from the town itself. These are my people. And I love them for their quirks, their jokes, and most importantly, for the fact that they know me too.